Invitation Etiquette: Everything You Need to Know

Sending wedding invitations feels like the first big step toward your big day. It’s more than just a piece of paper – it sets the tone, tells guests what to expect, and shows you respect their time. Let’s break down the basics so you can send, track, and manage invites without stress.

When to Send Save‑the‑Dates and Invites

Save‑the‑dates are the first heads‑up you give guests. Aim to send them 6‑9 months before a local wedding and 9‑12 months if many guests are traveling. A quick email or a simple postcard works fine – keep the design in line with your wedding theme.

Formal invitations follow later. The rule of thumb is 8‑12 weeks before the ceremony for most couples. If you have a destination wedding, push it to 12‑16 weeks so people can arrange flights and visas. Sending them too early can cause confusion; too late, and guests might miss the RSVP deadline.

RSVP Rules and Dos & Don'ts

Give guests a clear RSVP window – usually 2‑3 weeks before the final headcount is needed. Mention the deadline on the envelope and the inner card. If you’re using online RSVPs, include a short link and a reminder in your follow‑up email.

Never assume guests will reply. Keep a spreadsheet or a simple spreadsheet app to track responses. Update it as soon as you get a reply so you always know who’s coming.

When it comes to wording, keep it friendly and direct. Example: “Please let us know by 15 May if you can join us.” Avoid vague phrases like “as soon as possible.”

Don’t forget to include practical details: dress code, ceremony location, and any special instructions (like parking or shuttle info). If you have a wedding website, add the URL so guests can find more details in one place.

For plus‑ones, only offer them when the invitation says “and guest.” It’s polite to keep the language consistent across all cards so no one feels left out.

Stuck on wording? Use a simple template: “Together with their families, [Your Names] request the pleasure of your company at their wedding on [Date] at [Venue]. Reception to follow.” Adjust tone to match your style – formal, casual, or somewhere in between.

Finally, send a polite reminder about a week before the RSVP deadline. A short note saying, “We’re looking forward to celebrating with you! Please let us know if you can attend,” often nudges those who forgot.

By planning your save‑the‑date timeline, crafting clear invitation wording, and staying on top of RSVPs, you’ll keep the invitation process smooth and hassle‑free. Your guests will appreciate the clear direction, and you’ll have one less thing to worry about on the road to your wedding day.