Choosing the Best Man: Simple Steps for Any Groom
Picking a best man can feel like a big decision, but it doesn’t have to be stressful. Think of it as choosing a teammate you trust to help you on one of the most important days of your life. Start by listing the people you feel closest to – a brother, a lifelong friend, maybe a cousin. Then weigh their availability, reliability, and how comfortable you are giving them a spotlight.
What Makes a Good Best Man?
A good best man is more than just a title. He should be someone who can stay calm when things get hectic, because weddings tend to throw a surprise or two your way. Look for traits like responsibility (does he show up on time?), communication (can he keep the groomsmen in the loop?), and a sense of humor (a little laugh can defuse tension). If you’ve already leaned on this person for big moments – moving houses, major celebrations, or crisis support – that’s a strong sign they’ll handle the duties well.
Ask yourself a few quick questions: Can he afford to take time off work for pre‑wedding events? Does he enjoy planning or is he more of a hands‑off guy? Some grooms prefer a best man who can organize the bachelor party, while others just need a supportive shoulder on the day. Knowing what you expect will narrow down the list fast.
Tips for a Smooth Best Man Experience
Once you’ve chosen your best man, set clear expectations early. Share a simple checklist that includes: helping pick suits, coordinating with the groomsmen, handling the rings, and delivering a short speech if you want one. Give him a timeline – for example, the suit fitting should be done two weeks before the wedding, and the bachelor party planned by a certain date.
Communication is key. Create a group chat or shared doc where everyone can see tasks and deadlines. This prevents last‑minute scrambling and lets your best man ask questions without feeling like he’s bothering you.
Don’t forget to show appreciation. A small thank‑you gift, a handwritten note, or even covering his travel costs can go a long way. Remember, the best man is doing a favor, not a job, so genuine gratitude keeps the vibe positive.
If you’re nervous about the speech, offer to write a draft together. Practice a few times, and remind him that humor and honesty beat a polished but stiff delivery. The goal is to make the moment feel natural, not a performance.
On the wedding day, give your best man clear instructions about his role: where to stand, when to hand you the rings, and how to keep the groom’s energy up. A quick check‑in before the ceremony can calm any jitters. Trust that he’ll handle the details – you’ve already proven his reliability.
Choosing a best man is about picking someone who knows you well and can handle a bit of pressure. By setting expectations, staying organized, and showing appreciation, you’ll turn a potential headache into a smooth partnership that makes your wedding day even better.
