Wedding Etiquette: Your Quick Guide to Modern Traditions

Planning a wedding feels like juggling a thousand details, and etiquette can add another layer of confusion. The good news? Most rules are simple, and they’re really about making sure everyone feels comfortable and respected. Below you’ll find the most common etiquette questions broken down into bite‑size answers you can use right away.

Invitation & RSVP Basics

First impressions start with the invite. Include the couple’s names, date, time, venue, and dress code – nothing more, nothing less. Send "save‑the‑dates" about 6‑9 months before the big day, then mail formal invitations 8‑12 weeks out. Give guests at least three weeks to RSVP; this gives you enough time to lock in numbers with your caterer and avoid last‑minute scrambling.

If a guest declines, respond with a warm "Thank you for letting us know" and don’t press for a reason. For plus‑ones, only add them if the invite says "and Guest" or if the guest is in a committed relationship. Keep the RSVP card simple: a line for "Accepts" or "Declines," a space for meal choice, and a deadline.

Gifts, Payments & Planner Tips

Gift etiquette is easier than it sounds. A modest cash gift or a thoughtful item that matches the couple’s registry is always appreciated. If you’re a groom’s parent or a close family member, contributing to a big expense – like the wedding photographer – is common, but it’s not mandatory. Talk openly about budgets early on to avoid awkward surprises.

When it comes to tipping your photographer, $50 is a decent baseline for a short‑form shoot, but many couples tip 10‑20% of the total fee for a full‑day service. Check the contract: some photographers include a gratuity in their price, others prefer a separate tip.

Remember, wedding planners aren’t just “luxury assistants.” They handle vendor negotiations, timeline coordination, and day‑of emergencies. If you hire one, clarify what’s covered – for example, does the planner manage the bar tab, or is that still on you? Clear contracts keep everyone happy.

Other hot topics you might be curious about include:

• Black wedding dress etiquette – modern couples are embracing alternative colors while still respecting tradition.
• Groom gifts to the bride – a small token (a watch, a love letter, or a custom cufflink) can be a sweet nod to tradition.
• Who pays for the alcohol? Historically the groom’s family footed the bar tab, but today many couples split the cost or treat it as a joint expense.
• How long a photographer should stay – most cover ceremony, formal portraits, and the first hour of reception, but you can add extra hours for dancing.

All these details tie back to one core idea: etiquette is about clear communication and mutual respect. When you’re honest about what you need and considerate of others’ expectations, the day runs smoother and feels more joyful.

So, before you send out that next email or call a vendor, pause and ask yourself: "Is this clear? Is it fair? Does it make my guests feel welcome?" If the answer is yes, you’re on the right track. Happy planning!